Hats and Old Age

So I'm shopping today at Walmart. We've got company coming and I needed batteries and well, you get the idea. As I headed for electronics (for the batteries) I spotted a hat. It was like baseball hat but with a wider brim that goes around your head and covers your ears. Hmmm, I think. I could use a hat like that because when I wear a regular baseball hat, while sightseeing, the tips of my ears get sun burnt. My hair is very short. Guy short. I wear dangling earrings just so people know I'm a girl, short. I need a hat like that. Hmm, the only colors they have are black and brown. Hmm, those aren't great colors for a hat in the summer. Why would they pick such dark colors. Don't they know dark colors attract the sun? Even though I don't like the colors I try on the dark brown hat. It should go well with my hair, I think. ACK!! Wha' happened????????? I'm OLD. My hair isn't dark brown any more. it's GRAY. GRAY GRAY GRAY.

Picture me curled up in a corner whimpering. I used to like my gray hair. I've always thought it looked cooool. It's all short 'n' cutting edge. I use goop to spike it. People tell me that it's good-lookin' gray hair. Are they all lying to me?

I immediately headed for the hair dye aisle. I perused the selection. When did hair dye become about young non-gray headed girls make fashion statements? I have no confidence that these dyes can quell my gray. It is stubborn and plentiful. This may require professional help. But wait--if my hair looks young but my face looks old...isn't that mutton dressed as lamb? Oh, the humanity....