Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Fantastic Four

It's a rainy Saturday here in the Baltimore area, a good day to stay home and vegetate. I watched some shows I had waiting in the dvr while my sister added more music to iTunes. Then we both settled in a watched a movie on demand. This is an unusual event, I decide must post about it because it gives evidence of the fact that I occasionally do something different. Wait, watching a movie on tv isn't really different from watching tv when it's regular tv, I guess. Rats.

Anyway, I've wanted to see Fantastic Four since it came out on dvd, because, well, it's the kind of silly movie I enjoy. And I did. Enjoy it, that is, even the silly parts. The silly parts are the stuff you get to make fun of after. Like now.

Silly part number 1: The "Hey-a storm is coming let's go into space and watch it up close tomorrow" plan. Couldn't they at least pretend like the trip took months to plan? I'm pretty sure they didn't just fling the space shuttle up into space on one day's notice.

Silly part number 2: All the angst. The Rock-thing guy's wife was a total loser who is so disturbed by his new appearance that she's all "Don't touch me!" after she runs out of her apartment into the middle of NY in a skimpy satin nightie and robe. So then he's all grim and unhappy through the whole movie. Then there's the weird way the rock-guy, who I thought was a former astronaut, starts speaking like he had never graduated from high school when he becomes the atrocious rock-like thing. I mean, you gotta figure that the guy has a least a master's degree to be an astronaut right? And a little bit of rock hard skin and internal organs and he's all "Kid, you done good." I don't think so. Ugly does not equal stupid anywhere except Hollywood.

Silly part number 3: So Julian McMahon's character (you didn't really expect me to remember their names, right?) has his really successful company go belly up after one trip into space? Why? Oh--that's right, they can't explain that part because we're too busy being all angsty about the love triangle between Julian, Jessica Alba, and nerdy scientist guy who can stretch.

Silly part number 4: Could the flaming guy be more immature and annoying? 'Nuf said.

Silly part number 5: These are in no particular order, by the way, why did the police assume rock-like guy was evil? Again just by looks. Wow, is Hollywood biased or what? And they think they're so liberal, too. Go figure.

So I would recommend Fantastic Four to my friends who enjoy movies that they can shred during dinner after the movie. Those movies have a place in our culture. I'm kind of hoping there will be a Fantastic Four-2 someday.

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