Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Celebrity Hair Extensions

Now that I've joined forces with Robin to blog together instead of separately, I feel the need to bring some of my posts over here to Banter Basement for everyone to enjoy instead of just Robin, since she was the only one I know for sure ever read my short-lived blog. So here goes:

I'm a short-haired woman so I will admit that just maybe I'm coming at this from a very personal view point but I hate the Hollywood obsession with hair extensions. Having just read this week's crop of lifestyle magazines I am once again disgusted by the scaggy, disgusting uncombed hair that today's hottest celebrities sport. As hair goes, it is usually so unattractive that I sometimes wonder if the hairstylists in Hollywood aren't putting one over on the young Hollywood starlets with their own private hair version of the Emperor has no Clothes. Let me be that kid who says what everyone is thinking in the story--take the following examples:

The Simpsons sisters have their good points. But hair ain't one of them. These girls need to look in the mirror before they leave the house. Just got out of bed head looks like...I know...you just got out of bed!

Take this shot of Lindsay Lohan. Hello! The clue phone is ringing but nobody in her posse will pick up. All I can do is just leave a voice mail: "Hey, your ugly layers are showing!" What I can't figure out is how can these celebrities be so rich and look so bad?

This Olson twin looks like a homeless person. Now a homeless person's life is tough. They don't have a home or usually a brush. What is MaryKate Ashley's excuse? "Ooh dear, my brush broke and I'm all out of million dollar bills! Whatever shall I do?"

I grew up in the sixties and there used to be these fashion dolls Crissy and her cousin Velvet. Each doll had a button in her tummy and a knob on her back and out of the top of her head sprouted a rope of hair that grew! Press the tummy button and pull the hair rope and you could give you doll hair that fell to her feet. Turn the knob and all the hair would twist up into her head and then her hair was shoulder-length. Around her face there was always chin length hair so many painstaking hours were spent integrating the permanent chin-length hair with the rope from the top of her head. My Velvet doll was given away years ago to an orphanage in Mexico. In a moment of madness in my thirties, I saw a Velvet doll in a shop selling collectibles and I bought one. I keep her stored in a plastic container in my closet. While thinking about this hair extensions craze I realized, Eureka! These starlets have Velvet head!

I rest my case.

1 comment:

JJLynn58 said...

Too too funny. But then what do I know, alot of my opinions are the same as yours and yes they all have Velvet head. I would have read your blog if I only knew you had one........LOL!